Graymatter 2023-12-17
How to catalyze your transformation in 2024.
Welcome to the Sunday edition of my newsletter - ideas, mindsets, and technology to innovate your best self and unlock high performance - from mastering yourself to mastering a craft you love.
🚀 This newsletter disseminates learnings from my personal experiences and work as a leadership and performance coach to help people reach higher performance levels at work and beyond.
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🌟 I hope you find one nugget to practice this coming week.
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Your Life Changes When You Change
2023 was a year of learning and transformation for me. This year, I have partnered with 200+ people as a coach to help them drive transformational change based on what I learned throughout my career and as a seasoned coach. As a coach to graduate students, I am coaching them to take the next step in their career journey. For others, it’s helping people find their path, land a new job, make more money, or perform at a higher level. Most people have a sense of what they want but are often stuck in who they are and not taking action to change. I see situations where people focus their energy and minds on things they don’t control and fail to experience change. They are looking external, not internal.
Your life conditions change when you change through new mindsets, actions, and environments. The good news is that so much is within our control to change our situation and how we feel about ourselves. The journey to transformational change starts by recognizing that we must change and commit to actions in the face of uncertainty and challenge.
Here are a few resources to help you catalyze your transformation:
Identity Change: Author James Clear discusses identity change as the key to transformation by adopting rituals and habits that align with your chosen identity. Read the book Atomic Habits, subscribe to James Clear’s newsletter, or follow him on social media. Read my article, Know Your Identity and Future Self, to learn more about identity and Marshall Goldsmith’s '“created identity.” In my experience, identity change is the most powerful tool for changing your life condition.
Alter Ego: Sometimes, we need inspiration to transform by creating a secret identity with superpowers that come to life when and where we need it. The book The Alter Ego Effect: The Power of Secret Identities to Transform Your Life by Todd Herman, presents a proven strategy used by world-class athletes to tap into the human imagination to unleash new versions of ourselves. Who is your Alter Ego?
Mortality: Each day is one less day you have to experience your full potential. Connecting with your mortality creates a sense of urgency to make decisions, act, and adapt to life’s forces. Embrace your mortality to sharpen your focus and commitment to daily execution. Read more here.
Mentors: Mentors act as an accelerator by adopting their mindsets and knowledge. Who are the mentors you admire from afar, such as reading their books, watching how they show up, or learning about their habits and decisions to reach where they are today? Who are the mentors you can speak with to guide your transformation?
Burn a boat: There are times throughout your career when you must go all in to reach your full potential. One of my favorite books of 2023 is Burn The Boats by Matt Higgins. Based on research and Higgin’s journey, he reinforces the need to “toss plan B overboard” as a blueprint to pursuing your dreams with ambition. This book provided the motivation and mindset to expand my identity as a coach. “The greatest regret people have on their deathbed is that they never pursued their boldest dreams.”
Plan Your Actions: I have multiple identities (e.g., father, coach, instructor, technologist, friend, investor) that I am manifesting to evolve into my best self. The only way we can make these identities real is by taking action. Each Sunday, I document the actions and outcomes I want to achieve for each identity. I then allocate time on my calendars for the upcoming week. I use multiple calendars with color coding that aligns with each identity so that I can look at the week and challenge myself that I am investing in each identity. The following Sunday, I close out my week by reviewing my achievements and what I learned. The conscious allocation of time is how these identities come to life. Before you know it, you can see and feel it in your body.
Make Quality Decisions: The decisions you make every day alter your path. Another favorite book of 2023 is Clear Thinking by Shane Parrish. Are you making decisions reinforcing the status quo or who you want to become?
Let Go: I work with many people who seek transformational change in their job and who they are. A common theme I see is people clinging to the safety of who they are, which prevents them from being seen as the person who is a top candidate for their dream job. This can show up in how they position themselves or talk about themselves on their LinkedIn profile. Recently, I have worked with a few people who lost their jobs, and their LinkedIn headlines referred to those jobs, yet they want to become someone else. The interest in their profile was who they were and not who they wanted to become. A compelling headline, banner, and about section can help you promote your ideal identity. Leverage these LinkedIn best practices to strengthen your profile. People size you up within seconds of landing on your profile. How do you want to be seen? Know what you need to leave behind to become the person of your vision.
Tame the Inner Critic: The most powerful force against us is usually ourselves - the inner critic reminding us that we are not good enough or can’t do something. I hear this often during coaching sessions with phrases like “I can’t” or “I did not deserve to land that job anyway.” Identifying your inner critic's self-limiting beliefs can build awareness of how these beliefs control your life. Neutralize these beliefs by recognizing they are real but not true. Learn more here.
Journal: A few days ago, I read my journal entry for mid-December 2022 after losing my job as a CIO and experiencing other personal challenges. I felt alone, beaten down, and unhappy. Documenting reality sets a baseline for change and coming to grips with how we are feeling and what actions are required to move through it. A daily journal entry captures the small wins and your overall well-being. Your confidence and energy build as you acknowledge how you have taken ownership to push through change.
Discipline: I love the theme of the book Discipline Is Destiny: The Power of Self-Control by Ryan Holiday. It reminds us that our actions ultimately dictate our destiny. How will you strengthen your discipline to change your life?
Turn Pro: Changing requires a mindset shift to think and act differently. Decide to turn pro and leave your amateur ways behind. It’s free, and you can start today.
What actions will you take over these next few weeks to catalyze your 2024 transformation?
Thank You! - Enjoy the Holidays
👀 Thanks for reading, and I would love your help sharing my work with others!
P.S. - if you seek transformation in 2024 and to perform at the top of your game at work and beyond, consider a coaching partnership to help accelerate your progress. I work with people at a frequency commensurate with their goals, such as one, two, or four times a month. Schedule a complimentary coaching session to get coaching on a topic of your choice and for us to test our fit. Learn more at coachjamesgray.com.
- James